Preparation

Let's be honest: you're eating this at 2 AM while contemplating your life choices. But here's the thing—this isn't sad dorm food. This is elevated sad dorm food.

The Method to Your Midnight Madness

1. Boil water in your electric kettle (you have one, right? If not, use your coffee maker's hot water function like a true rebel).
2. In your trusty mug, mix the miso paste with about 2 tablespoons of hot water until it's smooth. This is your flavor foundation—don't skip this step or you'll have sad miso lumps.
3. Break up the ramen noodles and add them to the mug along with the flavor packet, frozen corn, and enough hot water to cover everything by an inch.
4. Cover your mug with a small plate and let it sit for 3 minutes while you question whether your essay is really due tomorrow.
5. Crack the egg directly into the mug, stir gently, then microwave for 45 seconds. The egg will cook in ribbons through the broth—trust the process.
6. Stir in the butter (this is what makes it fancy), add sriracha, and top with those green onions.

Slurp directly from the mug while watching cooking shows on your laptop, pretending you have a real kitchen. The irony is delicious.